Her Heart On His Sleeve
by politiksandprose
Summary: BN. She missed it all. She missed him, and he needed to know it. “Nate …” she paused, “Don’t forget your jacket”. No, she couldn’t. She couldn’t risk her heart on his sleeve again.
1. Chapter 1

** DISCLAIMER: i own nothing, except for this story. If i did, Nate and Blair would be so much more like they are in the book, on the show.  
**

There was a point in Blair Waldorf's life when she could say that everything was perfect. Perfect boyfriend – check. Perfect best friend who had not lost her virginity to the said boyfriend – check. Perfect straight father – check. Perfect grades, and a guaranteed in at Yale, her dream college – check.

As she made this mental check list, there was one thing, or rather, person, who she noticed was not included in her prior perfect life. Chuck Bass. Sure, Chuck was fun and maybe even romantic at times, but that's all he was. He was never actually there for her when she needed it the most. Nor did he stop her from ruining her chances at getting into Yale, as she knew Nate would have. Instead, he was usually the one who encouraged all the evil, manipulative things she ever did. He was a scheming basshole, and he had converted her into one as well. Not that she wasn't scheming before, but he had just brought it out in her that much more.

On the other hand, when she was with Nate, everything was perfect, and she was reminded of that as she sat on the balcony of the grand Vanderbilt mansion, accompanied by Nathanial Archibald, himself. She was reminded of silly things she missed, like lying in bed in Nate's arms watching _Breakfast at Tiffany's_, replacing Audrey and George, with herself and Nate as Holly and Paul, or the extra romantic, but stoned Nate who would always tell her how much he loved her – something Chuck never did. As old memories refreshed themselves in her mind, she realized how much she missed Nate. He was easier than Chuck, and even though she loved challenges and not getting things the easy way, the stability she felt with Nate was something she cherished more than anything else. Even more, she missed the way he always made her feel better, even when she knew she deserved to feel like shit.

If she was still with Nate, there was no doubt in her mind that she and Nate would be planning to attend Yale this fall, living together in an apartment they shared, because he would have stopped her from "hazing" Miss. Carr. "You're Blair Waldorf!" she faintly heard Nate say. And he was right, so what if she wasn't going to Yale, or any other college for that matter, and so what if she was in a fight with her best friend, it was okay. She was okay. She was, after all, Blair Waldorf, damn it. She could take on anything … as long as she had Nate to let her know that she could, a small part of her thought. It hit her, right then – she needed Nate. She needed him to tell her how much he loved her, like he used to. She needed him to talk her out of the evil things she wanted to do, and make her do the things she needed to do. She needed him to not just have kinky sex with her, but actually be there and listen to her complain and whine and watch old movies that he absolutely loathed, with her. She missed it all. She missed him, and he needed to know it.

"Nate …" she paused, "Don't forget your jacket". No, she couldn't. She couldn't risk her heart on his sleeve again.

**A/N - okay, first story, ever. So, let me know if its okay! please please pleaseee review ! (:**


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER:** **Once again, I do not own anything, unfortunately. **

**A/N: BTW, Gossip Girl lately has been making me ridiculously happy because of Blair&Nate 3 my favorites! (:**

The Vanderbilt mansion had always been a place of salvation for Blair. It gave her the assurance that she was wanted in the Archibald/Vanderbilt family. It had also carried many, many wonderful memories for her. From the time when Nate had first brought her here at age seven, to the endless holiday dinners, and social events held at the Vanderbilt house that she was obliged to attend because of Nate, and she was always happy to do it. Thinking back, she always felt insanely mature at those parties. Like it would be completely normal if she were to smoke a cigarette from her silver Tiffany's cigarette holder, and pose for a picture imitating the one of Audrey Hepburn. It was also where Nate had given her the Vanderbilt ring, which had not left her finger ever since he had first put it on her when she was fourteen, not even when she was with Chuck, or Carter. She shuddered thinking about the latter, _what was she thinking?_ Well, honestly, she could say the same about the first too.

Her last visit her had been a bittersweet one. Bitter because Blair was lost, yet once again, except this time she had the unfamiliar feeling of rejection. But it was also sweet, because Nate had been … well, he had been Nate. Not the awkward, dating Vanessa, secretly jealous of Chuck and bitter about it Nate. No, instead he had been the old Nate. The one who'd make her feel better, regardless if she deserved to or not, the one who made her feel young, and vulnerable, but safe at the same time, a feeling she absolutely welcomed. And even though she had been left with her heart in a huge mess, confused over her feelings for Nate, she had realized she missed him, and using that as the basis of her feelings, and she had acted on it. The results were very, very satisfactory.

This visit to the Vanderbilt household had not been much different, Blair thought, as she stood outside the said household, staring at a very disappointed, very pissed off Nate.

"I thought this time would be different!" Nate yelled, sounding more upset than angry.

"It is Nate!" Blair pleaded. "It is different. I just … I don't know, Nate. I just wanted to feel like I belonged in your family again, I just … I don't know." She repeated. Tears were beginning to gather in her eyes and she knew Nate could see them too because his gorgeous greenish-blue eyes softened.

"Blair, I don't even belong in my family" Nate scoffed. "I'll …" he looked undecided about what he would say next. "I'll just see you tomorrow or something" he said after a long pause, his voice slightly breaking.

Blair nodded, the tears that were held captive in her eyes before were now hanging on her cheeks, and she had no idea why. They had bigger fights before but never before had they led to tears. Nate gently brushed them away, a nice contrast to his rough fingers. He then proceeded to bend down a place a chaste kiss on her forehead, something that had become their 'thing', right before leaving her heart in a complete and utter mess for the second time in the last two weeks.

***

Blair was ridiculously unsure of what she was doing here, but after hours of tossing and turning in her bed, she decided that sleep was not going to grace her presence any time soon. She found herself in front of the house she had, at one point in her life, thought, no – she knew it would be hers some day, the Archibald house, in her oldest jeans, and a Yale sweatshirt she had since she was, well she couldn't exactly remember when she had gotten it, but it was old. _Talk about rubbing salt in the wounds._

It was a good thing that the Archibald's doorman still remembered her, because it saved her from the embarrassment she was afraid she would have to suffer if she had to call Nate down first, and then have him reject her in front of random by-passers who would undoubtedly pass on the information to the beloved Gossip Girl.

Blair opened the door leading to Nate's room silently, careful not to wake him up. She could smell the familiar fragrance of his cologne, Aqua Di Gio that he had been using for as long as she could remember, combined with weed from his earlier years. She considered waking him up, but decided against it. Instead, she did something she remembered doing a million times before, regardless what time or day, or what the occasion. She gently pulled up Nate's covers, and got in next to his sleeping body. She could see the boat-filled sheets on his bed in the dim light, she had given them to him when they were twelve years old on a Christmas, when he had just begun building boats with his father, and was ridiculously excited about it. She had found his obsession, funny and almost annoying back then, but now thinking back, it was endearing. She softly ran her fingers across his built arms, and his eyes fluttered open.

He blinked. And then blinked again, as if he wasn't sure he was hallucinating or if she was there in reality. "Blair?"

"It is different this time, Nate." Blair whispered.

"Blair, what are you … ?"

Blair cut him off, "It's different this time Nate. Last time it was you who I couldn't trust" she said, referring to the whole Serena debacle, "And then it was me" referring to Chuck, and the last nights events. "But I promise, it won't happen again. I know what my feelings are for you, there's no confusing them. I want you Nate. And it'll be different this time. So much more different." She said, her tone of voice low and convincing, her eyes pleading.

Nate grinned, "Good, but maybe not everything has to be different." He said, putting his arms around her waist. "You could still sneak into my room at random hours of the night." He paused, kissing her nose, "and we could still do this, a lot" he said, his grin getting large as his lips slowly covered hers.

Blair decided, she would risk her heart on his sleeve, only as long as he would dare to do the same.

**A/N: I didn't think I would add another chapter, but I did – I do think this is the end though. Thanks so much for the reviews, they make me happier than anything else! (: so pleaseeee, REVIEW! **


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